The Human Checkist

Want to prove you’re not a machine? Easy. Forget polish. Forget elegance. Forget grammar. Here’s the new checklist for authentic human writing:

  • Include at least one typo (preferably in the first line ;).
  • Use a run-on sentence that wheezes and collapses halfway.
  • Sprinkle punctuation like you’re seasoning a cheap steak.

Congratulations. You’ve passed the humanity test. Robots need not apply.

Why the Paranoia?

We’re living in a time where teachers, employers, and strangers on the internet suspect every clean sentence of being auto-generated. Detection tools scan essays for “AI fingerprints.” Bosses double-check reports. Nothing says authentic human soul quite like misspelling “definitely” three different ways.

The New Style Guide: Imperfection

Forget the Chicago Manual of Style. The hottest guide on the block is How to Write Like You’ve Just Woken Up. The rules are simple:

  1. Cut all em dashes — they’re suspiciously elegant.
  2. Skip metaphors, unless they’re painfully obvious.
  3. Leave in at least one typo, bonus points if it’s in a headline.

This isn’t laziness. It’s performance art. A rough edge is now a badge of honour.

The Irony Loop

Of course, A.I. is already learning the trick. It’s practising typos. It’s rehearsing clumsy phrasing. Soon, bots will master the art of sounding delightfully unedited. At that point, we’ll need something stronger. Maybe deliberate coffee stains on the PDF. Maybe emails that start mid-sentence.

Authenticity is a moving target, and the machines are catching up.

Historical Parallels

This isn’t new. People once distrusted typewritten letters—too perfect. Vinyl records got fetishised for their crackle. Even handwritten signatures were judged by their wobble. Now it’s writing that must look convincingly flawed.

Fast-forward few years: your robot boss might only trust your report if you record it as a voice note with heavy breathing in the background (ofcourse voice will be GenAI and heavy breathing equivalent of making it human, ha)

Why This Matters (But Lightly)

There’s a cost to all this performative sloppiness. When clarity gets sacrificed on the altar of authenticity, everyone suffers. We start confusing mistakes for meaning. We flatten style into parody.

The real proof of humanity isn’t a typo—it’s intention. Choosing words carefully is just as human as messing them up.

The Closing Zinger

So here’s your updated humanity checklist for the A.I. age:

  • Misspelt word ✔
  • Bad joke ✔
  • Existential crisis ✔

Still human? Perfect. Send.

Written for KiwiGPT.co.nz — Generated, Published and Tinkered with AI by a Kiwi